1. I think, as long as I’m closeted to the people I share a house with, I need more clothing that allows me to pretend I’m … I don’t know. A modern day AU Tris Chandler, or Sybil Ramkin, or Morgan le Fae, or other badass woman characters I’d consider cosplaying if I actually identified as a girl. Because it’s a lot easier to ignore the dysphoria if I’m in costume.

    I don’t know if this is healthy or not.

    I also sort of want to dye my hair red, but I suspect that would end badly.

  2. God I should not have agreed to this

    I need to remember that clothes shopping is the biggest dysphoria trigger for me I know of.

    But I really need a decent winter coat and I’m home for the weekend and my mother was like “let’s go.”

    So I went.

    And shopped for women’s coats, because I was with my mother and I am in my closet to my mother and it was generally bad. I was looking for something reasonably androgynous and she kept pushing me towards more feminine things.

    Also I did not leave with a coat. And I spent the entire care ride home telling myself that my body was not the end of the world and I wasn’t going to cry, while my mom and little sister talked and tried to engage me in conversation.

    So even if I get to go coat-shopping as a guy next time, I will still have to deal with my curves and try to buy a decent coat that works for me.

    Dammit.

About me

I'm another genderqueer asexual trans guy who lurks on tumblr often enough to get one. You'll see a lot about writing, some about sexuality and gender, and a lot about the publishing industry here, with occasional asides into fandom, mythology, and whatever else happens to strike my fancy. Tamora Pierce's work and the Arthurian Legends are probably my two biggest fandoms just now.

I'm kind of shy and it may take me a little while to answer/warm up to you, but I really do encourage any questions/errant thoughts/call outs you may want to put in my ask. I try to keep this a relatively safe space, so if you need any trigger warnings, let me know.

Userpic credit currently: mystic-touch.livejournal.com